lego legs.

I was arguing with a goon today at work, we were arguing over acronyms and names and the belligerent sod would NOT back down, claiming the following story was untrue!

He would not believe That the 'LL' in 'LL Cool J' stood for 'Lego Legs' no matter how much I tried to tell him otherwise. There was no convincing him but I know the truth, I went to school with James.

Y'know the 'old skool' that 80's and 90's rappers used to rap about? well James and I attended that very school together - Gittin High, Class of '81 - along with Douglas (Dougie Fresh) Fresian and Barnaby (Humpty Dump) Fortheringhay.

Well there we were we were minding our own one day when we saw a fire in the hydroponics lab, Douglas and I grabbed a fire hose and James and Barnaby tried to help rescue the equipment but it was so hot, so we turned the hose on those guys and soaked them down so they could go in and save the herbs an' stuff. After a couple of minutes they didn't return and we were beginning to think the worse, but then suddenly, through the fire and flames they appeared, Barnaby carrying James, it looked awful, Barnaby's face was burned so bad his nose burned clean off and James' legs were just cinders, it was a grim sight.

The health care in Brooklyn in the 80's was poor to say the least, there were no prosthetics or plastic surgery, no NHS like we have here in the UK and certainly no after care. The best they could offer was a Groucho disguise for Barnaby to hide his missing nose and they had to build James' legs from the Lego in the waiting room.

If you look at James even today you never see him in anything but long trousers, its to hide the Lego Legs, although these days he's gone Hi-Tec and uses Lego Mindstorm and Bionicle bits.

They say disaster can inspire people to reach great heights and I think in this case it is true, Douglas and I helped save the day but didn't show the degree of heroism James and Barnaby did. Doulas went on to make some pretty good rap records but didn't really hit the big time and I moved back to the UK to take up nerf herding and our lives, while fulfilling, didn't quite reach the heights of fame That Humpty Dump and LL Cool J did. Triumph over adversity. God bless them both.

Try telling that to some mid 20's emo though and they won't believe it.
But I was there man, its true, every last word.