Sunday, 27 May 2012

Prepared in store.

I nearly bought a bun today, hot bacon and egg from Morrisons, it said on it as if to tempt me even further, 'Prepared in store'.
Prepared in store is the Morrisons - and any other supermaket, mini mart or happy shopper's way of having us believe its 'better' somehow cos it hasnt been made off site by some soul-less machine churning out approximations of food. "Its prepared in store Sir, it has been lovingly crafted by our finest Boulangerers (I made that word up) and once prepared its is sent via carrier butterfly to our bespoke wrapping facility on the top floor where it is gently wrapped in the finest papers know to man ready for your delectation.

I was convinced, then I thought about it.
When I was at school there was a dude who came in late once and his excuse was "I was sniffing glue last night" (ask yer dad) "and I got so high I woke up in France, I had to swim back, thats why I'm late"
He works in Sainsburys now.
In fact when I thought about it more, most of the bottom 10% of my year at school went on to work in supermarkets or fast food joints when they left - I assuming the others couldn't pass the "can you stand on one leg?" entrance exam.

Yeah, thanks Mr Morrison but no, I don't think I'll have the 'Prepared in store' bacon and egg bun you offer, not when I know the kind of person who might have prepared it.

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